Mirror Mirror on the Wall – Who do I see?

“Cinderella isn’t short and doesn’t wear glasses!” These words were thrown my way when I stood at the front of my class, along with a number of other girls, all wanting to play the role of Cinderella in the school play that year.

And so, my year 3 teacher forever squashed any desire I may have had to be an actress!

At the time, I definitely didn’t recognise that these words, along with the resulting laughter from class-mates, would contribute to how I saw myself for many years. That when I looked in a mirror, all too often, I saw someone who wasn’t quite good enough, not as beautiful as other girls, definitely not tall and skinny, and perhaps, someone who tried a bit too hard to be accepted by the “in” crowd.

And someone who became very good at covering up the insecurities and wrong self image by becoming good at what I did, and good at wearing a mask.

Thankfully, God loves me too much to leave me wearing my masks, and, over many years and through many different situations, has worked to show me who He sees when he looks at me. Years of Him speaking His truth into my heart when other people’s lies want to say something different. And it has taken many years for me to be able to accept His truth rather than those lies, and to be at peace with who I really am. And I have to say – it is still a work in progress, but oh so necessary.

In recent weeks as I have journied with a number of people along the twists and turns of their lives, there has been a common theme emerging through our conversations – that of “who am I really – if I’m not what I do?”

For far too many of us, so much of who we are and how we see ourselves is wrapped up in what we do. I am mission partner. I am an aid worker. I am a teacher, doctor, manager, student, essential worker – the list goes on ad infinitum.

Then there are other ways in which we look at ourselves – I am single, married, a parent, grandparent, uncle or aunt, cat lover, dog walker, musician or poet – there are a myriad of ways in which we can describe ourselves to someone who asks what we do! And none of them are wrong!

But there is a deeper question we need to answer, one that, if we are honest, it is often easier to avoid! Especially if, like me, you have come to believe in the lies that have been spoken over you in the past – maybe not intentionally – but they have wormed themselves in deep into our self-belief never-the-less.

Including the big lie that our culture places on us all too often – that we are what we do and we need to be doing more in order to be both happy and successful.

So I want to ask you a question:

When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

Who is the real you?

Who is the you, who, when you are on your own, dares to dream bigger than your current reality? Or maybe silently grieves for lost hopes or over past hurts or disappointments. The one who maybe tries to hide away in a corner, hoping no-one will ever know the real you, because they might not like what they see.

Maybe you’re the one with the mask that says “Im doing just fine”, when underneath, you are slowly crumbling under the weight of the burdens you carry.

Maybe the real you looks in the mirror and wonders, if God really knew who you are, then how could He ever truly love you?

Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

More importantly, who does God see when He looks at you?

Recently I read Jeremiah 1 vs 5 and Psalm 139 vs 13 – 16:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart … ”

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

And I wrote the following in response to these words:

“Before I was even born, you knew me. Before my parents had even thought about me, you knew me. You had already chosen me to follow you, consecrated me to be your child, given me your words in my heart.

Even before I was conceived you knew all about me – and loved me completely.

Before I could do anything, or even think about serving you, you knew me and loved me totally.

You knit me together with love in my mothers womb – and breathed your love into each fiber of my being, and pronounced that I was a beautiful creation and very good.

You already knew each day of my life. You knew even then how much I would fail you and let you down. You knew the struggles and battles I would face with sin and self. And You knew my that my heart would long for more of you and less of me.

You also knew that the “me” would get in the way of You all too often, yet you loved me then – and you love me now. And all those times I fall flat on my face, you gently pick me up, dust me down, and hold me close in your arms of grace.

You love me with an everlasting love and grace that knows no boundaries. You called to me when I was in my mother’s womb, whispered Your name into my heart – the Name above every Name – then name of Jesus. The Name of my Redeemer, Saviour and Friend.

And you knew my name, even before I was born, and you call me by name today.

You called me your own right back then – You call me your precious daughter now. And You call to me, day by day, to walk with you as your beloved child – The child you delight in.

You whisper your words of life into my spirit as I rest with you as my Father – words that say I am your treasured one – the One who you love. That there is no need for masks with you – you already know me completely. There is no need to hide or pretend to be something I’m not, or try to be accepted – you accept me as I am, and with love and grace continue to form me into a perfect reflection of your beautiful and wonderful image.

I am the daughter of the Most High God, the One who loved me even before time began and who loves me wholly and completely today, and for all eternity.

Maybe you need to hear those words today? To allow the truth of how God sees you to cut through any lies you have come to believe about yourself. To allow His words of grace and truth to bring to you the freedom to be who He has made you to be – not bound up in what you do or how much your serve, but wrapped in the everlasting truth that you are loved, and you are His precious and treasured child, and He delights in you.

Why not take some time with a cup of tea and ask God who He sees when he looks at you – and allow His reply to go deep into your heart.

And then, try repeating those words of love and affirmation to yourself, with a thankful heart, each time you look into the mirror!