A Bed of Roses

This week my husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary! 30 years of walking life together – I’m honestly not sure where those years have gone! But actually, yes, it has all been a bed of roses!

I was thinking about that phrase today – a phrase that is often used to imply that everything has been easy, wonderful and no problems at all!

But when I think about my roses, there’s actually quite a lot of work that goes on to ensure that they produce those beautiful, sweet scented blooms!

Firstly, roses need to be planted in a deep, wide, water-filled hole, with a lot of care needed so as not to damage their roots in the process.

Just so – we in our marriage constantly need to make sure that our roots and foundations are planted deep in the soil of God’s word, His love and His grace – taking good care of each other so as not to irreparably damage the essential roots of who we are individually, as well as where our roots are now entwined together.

Roses need plenty of water and regular feeding – especially in my garden which, living near the beach as we do, has pure sand as its soil! Which means that regular feeding and watering is especially important.

When we got engaged, Andrew and I made the decision to read God’s Word and pray together each day – or every time we were together before we married! This regular watering and feeding, allowing God’s Spirit and Word to nourish our souls and to hold us together, has been essential in enabling us to grow and flourish together, and has spoken into our lives time and time again. And it continues to be the bedrock of our lives together – the starting place of each new day and the place of peace to end each day.

Roses need regular pruning – something my mother taught me! She prunes hers really hard each year and taught me to do likewise! But amazingly, the roses that are pruned the hardest are the roses that bloom the best the following spring and summer! Cutting back the dead wood, the spindly branches that won’t support new flowers, thinning out sections that have become too crowded – all of this allows the rose to breathe, to soak in the sun and light and to bloom more beautiful than before.

Just so in our lives together – and we’ve certainly had our fair share of pruning! The dead wood that acts as a barrier to us growing and blossoming, those spindly areas within us that need strengthening or cutting away, and the ever present baggage that entangles us, blocking out the Light of the Son – all of these need ongoing pruning and attention in order that we can breathe more deeply of His Spirit and Life, soak in the warmth of His love and grace, and somehow, prayerfully, bloom more beautiful each year.

Then there’s the roses that grow strong and bloom in adverse weather. Last year our spring was cold and windy, but my roses bloomed more abundantly that ever before. Somehow those winds and storms triggered the most beautiful flowers with their incredible aroma. Because these roses are firmly and deeply rooted in their soil, supported by stakes when their branches are looking particular fragile or vulnerable, they don’t wither and die in the strong winds or frosts, but rather, seem to thrive on the adversity!

Likewise, over 30 years of marriage, there have been many times where we have been buffeted and bashed by the winds and storms of life – but somehow, these have made us dig deeper roots into God and each other, and we have learnt – and are still learning! – to support each other through the storms, when life means one or other of us is vulnerable and fragile.

The stakes of our love – bound by the love, grace and faithfulness of God, have held us upright and bound together, even when those storms have done their utmost to tear us apart. And, looking back, these are the times that have shaped us, strengthened us and caused us to blossom in our own lives and with each other.

And last, but by no means least, there’s the aphids – little green insects that suck the life out of new buds. I try to do an aphid watch most evenings, armed with my bottle of dilute dish-washing liquid with which to drown these little life suckers! But inevitably I will miss some, and some new buds will be sucked dry and never open because of these little unassuming insects!

Just so, in our lives we have to keep watch for these little, often unassuming things that will, if not dealt with, suck us dry, cause life to be drained, and dreams to die. We haven’t always been successful at catching them all – but we do have a God who is in the business of restoration and has restored, and continues to restore, some of those hopes and dreams that have been lost on the way, breathing life back into the new buds of our lives more times that we will ever know!

So yes – 30 years of life together has all been a bed of roses! The pruning, the aphid catching, the winds and storms of life all working together to deepen our roots and make us stronger. Our commitment to being watered and fed by prayer and God’s word each day has held us together, watering and feeding our lives and, I pray, allowing us to bloom more beautifully – blooms that somehow reflect His glory and the beautiful aroma of Christ. Blooms that, maybe in some small way, can bring life and hope and joy to our family and the many people who come in and out of our lives.

God’s gardening work has been, and continues to be more than worth it, and here’s to 30 more years of building this rose garden together with Him.

Why not take a cuppa into your garden, or go and enjoy some roses somewhere nearby, and take sometime to reflect how God, the master gardener, is building His rose garden in your life?